Ace of Hearts
by Angelic Chocolate Fairy
Summary: Jesse broke up with Suze & she moves away to New York in an attempt to forget. But things come crashing down when she realises the truth about why he did it. But with a murdering ghost on the loose and Paul there at every turn. Can she let herself love?
1. Falling to Pieces

_**A/N: Okay, new fic. I warn you now: the first chappy is more setting the scene. It will get better. And more fluffy. Lol. I know that there is loads of stuff left unanswered, but just bare with me. All WILL be explained. Lol. **_

_**All you have to do is read and review! Easy huh? **_

_**Enjoy!**_

**I raced up the three stories of steps with little effort. The key shook in my hand as I placed it in the rusting lock. My trembling fingers fumbled in an effort to get the key in the first time. It wasn't working all that well. _Could today get any worse?_ I wondered. I guess it's the whole me-not-caring thing. But then your boyfriend walking out on you can do that to a girl. I really thought he was the one. Jesse I mean. But if he really was then why would he have done something so horrible?**

**I collapsed onto the floor after giving up on opening the door. I didn't even care that the floor looked like it hadn't been cleaned in a year. All I cared about were the memories that seemed to be flooding back in full force. My eyes snapped shut of their own free will. Mostly because of the tears that were threatening to spill out like so many times before. **

"_**Susannah, I cannot do this anymore. It isn't fair. It isn't fair on either of us. Especially not you. This must stop before it goes any further." He'd said. **_

_**I could hear how much it hurt him to say that. To destroy everything that we had together. I could see a desperate sadness that I'd never seen before, in his eyes. But it just made me angrier. After everything I'd given him. After all the sacrifices I'd been prepared to take. All the pain and uncertainness of the past few months. All for nothing. He was just going to walk away.**_

**_Maybe that's what I should do._ I thought absently, trying desperately to cling onto the last ounce of reality. But it wouldn't work. I could already feel the swirling abyss of emotions welling up inside me again. But I was far too used to these feelings by now. Carefully rearranging myself so that I was standing, I set my face. And closed my heart again. It was the only way I got through these days.**

**This time when I placed the key in the lock it seemed to turn easily. I wiped my streaming eyes with the back of my hand and walked inside my new apartment. Slamming the door carelessly, I made my way towards the nearest sofa and flopped down. Today had been the toughest so far. Seeing CeeCee had done something to me. And her mention of Jesse hadn't helped either. **

**I ran a hand through my hair and took the time to breathe. It's amazing what a couple of deep breaths could do. Not exactly the master cure I know, but at least I wasn't still crying. Allergy season in New York seemed to be year round for me.**

**I jumped at the sound of the phone ringing. I picked it up without really seeing it. Losing the love of your life can do that to a person.**

"**Hey, you've made it through to the Susannah Simon voice mail service. If you want to talk about how totally screwed up your life is then go ahead. My personal hotline seems to be open daily. So if you want to leave a message then………."**

"**Susannah?" **

**Even though the voice was faint and broken with static, I still recognised it as if I had only heard it yesterday.**

"**Father D?" I asked hearing the shock evident in my own voice. My original reluctance about taking the call was instantly forgotten. I hadn't heard from Father D since the day I ran away from home to come live in NYC. Incidentally at the same time Jesse ditched me.**

"**Oh thank heavens! I was sure that I'd missed you again." he mumbled quickly. I wasn't surprised. Me and him hadn't exactly parted under the best of terms.**

"**What do you want?" I asked confusedly. I heard him cough faintly. Then the sound of someone in the background, talking rapidly. I recognised the voice instantly.**

"**Well Susannah…….."**

"**Is that Jesse?" I asked, feeling angry. I felt fresh tears spring to my eyes. This time it wasn't because I was upset. More because I was livid.**

"**Well, Susannah….please don't be rash but….."**

"**_Is it him?" _ I whispered again. This time I could hear all the pent up emotion in my voice. I heard Father D cough again.**

"**Yes Susannah. And I would appreciate it if you learnt to control your anger. It was not his choice to….."**

"**Look, I gave up trying to 'control' my anger about the same time Jesse decided to throw me into the gutter. Which was incidentally when I realised that all men are liars and thieves."**

"**Thieves? Susannah I am afraid that I have no idea what you are talking about. But if you'd just let me explain……"**

"**Jesse stole my heart. I'll never get that back. No matter how far I run." **

**And with that I threw the phone down. I stared at it for a few more seconds before finally standing up and grabbing my coat. I'd decided to take a day off from being a crime-scene reporter. I couldn't take any more misery today. After all, it was special circumstances. **

**I flung open the door, only to find someone already waiting outside. I was so zoned out that I walked straight into the poor guy. **

"**Oh my God. I am so sorry!" I shrieked, as I bent down to look at him. **

**The first thing I noticed about the guy was his hair. He had nice hair. It curled in the perfect way only professional stylists could create. I'd only ever seen hair like it once before. That's when it hit me.**

"**_Paul?" _ I choked, feeling completely stunned. What was he doing here?**

**First Father D now this. Could this day get _any_ worse?**


	2. Lost Soul

**I sipped my coffee nervously, as I watched Paul walk towards me. He looked almost exactly as I remembered him. The only difference now was that he'd clearly been working out. I watched in disgust as practically every woman in the whole coffee shop turned to stare at him, as he strolled past their table. And Paul –unlike most people- didn't even pretend not to notice. Instead he nodded to them, occasionally flashing them sexy grins over his shoulder. It was extremely depressing. Well for me anyway. Knowing that I was probably the _only _girl in the whole shop that wasn't planning our wedding. **

**Which is easily explained by the little fact of my _knowing_ him.**

**That kind of thing can put you off a guy like Paul. I mean sure, he's hot. And he knows how to turn on the charm. But he also has the nasty little habit of trying to screw up everything that goes right in your life. Plus he fancies himself like hell.**

**He slid into the seat in-front of me with a confident grin. I couldn't resist from arching my eyebrow in disapproval. He'd only been in the shop for ten minutes and he'd already broken every girl's heart. Except mine of course. Because mine was already broken.**

**And not by some jerk-off like _him._**

"**So Suze. Where were we?" he drawled arrogantly. I sat back in the uncomfortable metal chair and grinned at him ironically.**

"**You haven't changed one bit have you?" I commented dryly, as I saw him trying to catch a glimpse at a pretty blonde girl on the table opposite us. He returned his gaze to mine and smirked.**

"**_That_ is an unfair assessment of my character." He informed me looking wounded. I rolled my eyes, not thinking for a minute he was serious.**

"**What'd they do to you at law school? I hadn't known they could teach you how to shove your head further up your arse." I chided. **

"**Ouch. That hurt me Suze, you know that?" he said as his grin turned into a smirk. I just placed my coffee on my mug mat and shook my head. The years hadn't changed him at all. Even his personality remained the same.**

"**Okay fine. Are you telling me that you never met any girl capable of teaching you how to not be an arrogant arse hole?" I asked sweetly. He frowned at me.**

"**Of course not. You'll always be the love of my life sweetheart." He joked. I didn't find it funny.**

"**Call me 'sweetheart' again and I'll be forced to hurt you." I informed him moodily.**

**I half expected him to say it again just to wind me up. But to my surprise he didn't. Instead –for the first time since I'd bumped into him- he turned serious.**

"**What's up with you anyway?" he asked looking concerned. Well kind of. I don't actually think Paul _can _be concerned about anything. But he did a good imitation of it. The sarcastic quirk of his mouth straightened and his eyes softened slightly. **

"**Nothing. I just…….you wouldn't understand." I muttered, avoiding his eyes. But of course he clicked immediately.**

"**Oh God, I'm such an idiot. I'm so sorry Suze. I didn't think. I should have done." He breathed. I let out a long sigh. **

"**Forget about it. I'm surprised you even know about it." **

"**Of course I know. Jesse wouldn't let me forget for about two months after you left. Why the hell do you think I transferred?" he asked bitterly.**

"**Jesse came after you?" I asked, my head snapping up. I was shocked. It was nothing to do with Paul. Well, not to my knowledge anyway. I'd always assumed that Jesse loved someone else. Preferably a ghost seeing as he's dead. But whatever. The point is that he'd broken up with me for no reason. I didn't stay long enough to find out _why_. I kind of wished I had now. Maybe there was more to it then I had thought.**

"**He loves you Suze. What did you expect the guy to do?" he explained like I was an idiot for not realising it. I stared at him stunned.**

"**Jesse never loved me. Why would he break up with me if he loved me?" I choked, feeling unable to breath. The room was getting smaller and I could only seem to focus on Paul's next words.**

"**He never stopped loving you Suze. What are you blind? That's why he gave me so much grief. He thinks I'm the reason you left. But both you and I know that I wasn't. It was Father D." **

**I nodded, letting his words sink in. My skin felt like goose-flesh as I stood up and grabbed my bag. I couldn't breathe in here.**

"**Suze? What are you doing?" Paul asked, sounding worried. I threw some change onto the table and grabbed his arm.**

"**We're getting out of here. I have a phone call to make."**

**But it turned out I needn't have bothered. Because the next moment Jesse walked through the door.**

**And he wasn't glowing.**

**_A/N: Heya! Thanks for all the reviews so far! Hehe. You guys rock!_**

_**I realise I've left LOADS unanswered. And it's probably very confusing as well. But it all WILL be explained. **_

_**Oh, and the reason Jesse knows she was in that shop'll be explained as well.**_

_**And why he finally followed her. **_

_**And why Paul's still a jerk even though he doesn't seem like it.**_

_**Well technically, everything. Lol.**_

_**JS or PS? You'll have to keep reading to find out! I'm keeping an open mind……..**_

_**Tell me your views on the matter. Lol.**_

_**Anywayz. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope it doesn't suck. And thank you for reading!**_

_**Now please REVIEW!**_

_**Give away if-you-review is: Invisible Zombie Goldfish. Cool huh?**_


	3. End of the Start

**I watched as the golden light flickered against the wall of my apartment. The trees outside making the mid-day sunshine into a glistening shadow. I liked New York. Not as much as maybe some other places. Places such as Carmel. It held a lot of bad memories in this city. And yeah, I admit that in some ways it suited me better here. But it never felt like home. I doubted that it ever would. Gina was perched on a stool opposite me, so that she could keep checking that I wasn't contemplating running away. She knew me way too well.**

**I sat up a little straighter in my squishy chair to get a better look at the man standing in front of me. Jesse. I wasn't imagining the fact he looked pissed. He was. I could see it.**

**Plus I'd witnessed him slugging Paul in the stomach after he found us together. Apparently he's still as over-protective of me as ever. It's just a shame that it was completely platonic. And always would be. He'd had his chance.**

_**But then why did my heart flip over when I saw him?**_

"**What are you doing here Jesse?" I asked tiredly. If I'd had my way he would have left right after he'd whacked Paul. But of course he wouldn't. **

"**I would have thought that was obvious Susannah." He replied just as tiredly. Which of course annoyed the hell out of me. Because I truly had no idea what he was doing in New York City. _Alive._**

**Not that I could mention that in front of Gina. I mean, she knows some of the stuff about me being a Mediator. And of course I'd told her why I had to leave Carmel. But I'd never mentioned the fact that the guy that had broken my heart was in fact deceased. **

**Or used to be last time I checked anyway.**

**And I didn't intend to inform her of that now. Well, not until I'd thought through how to explain it all to her. She'd no doubt have a zillion questions. Including why I never told her earlier. **

"**I think we need to talk. Gina will you leave us alone for a minute?" I asked sweetly. I guess she noticed how annoyed I was with him. She raised both of her dark brows before nodding.**

**I watched as she strolled towards the door. Stopping on the way to get a word in with Jesse.**

"**If I hear you've done anything to her I'll break every bone in your body. Got it dude?" she informed him lazily. It was more a statement than an actual question. I saw the surprise on Jesse's face when she called him a 'dude'.**

**_I_ _guess he isn't used to being talked to like he's shit,_ I thought absently. He'd better get used to it. I had a feeling that Gina knew who he was. The fact that he was the guy from Carmel anyway. And she doesn't take kindly to people that cross her. Or me apparently. **

**I waited until she'd exited the room to make my conversation point. The thing that had freaked me out the most about seeing him after all this time.**

"**Okay spill." I told him through gritted teeth. He regarded me dubiously for a minute before finally speaking.**

"**Don't you think you have something you want to tell me first?" he probed, pushing off the wall that he had been leaning against. I stared at him in annoyance. We were so not going to get anywhere like this.**

"**No. Actually I ran out of things to say to you back when you ditched me." I informed him acidly. I watched with smug satisfaction as his eyes sparked with rage. I'd obviously hit a nerve.**

"**And what exactly did you expect me to do?" he asked angrily. **

"**Not leaving me for no reason would have been a good one don't you think?" I replied. **

**He stared at me confusedly for a minute like he couldn't figure out where I was getting my argument. I tried to block out what Paul had told me about Jesse earlier. Before they'd got into yet another fist fight over me.**

"**Maybe you don't think that it was a good reason. But I certainly do. Did you not even consider for one moment the result of your actions?" he yelled angrily. **

**Just like when we last met, I thought sadly. I didn't want Gina to come back inside though, so I just did what any woman in my position would have done. I slapped him. Hard.**

**I watched as shock filled his face. Well, at least I finally managed to shut him up. And I won't lie to you: it felt good to take my anger out on someone. Especially the cause of all my misery. I felt tears spring to my eyes as I stepped back and went to sit on my window seat, overlooking the city. I deliberately avoided his eyes as I came to realise what I'd just done.**

**I'd slapped Jesse. Oh shit.**

**And there was me trying to convince myself that I was moving on. Yeah, like that was ever going to happen. Finally I found my voice.**

"**Don't ever talk to me like that again. Not now. Not ever. Got it?" I hissed as my voice cracked. **

**I flinched as he stormed out and slammed the door behind him. I shouldn't have hit him. I shouldn't have gotten angry at him. Now I'll probably never see him again, I thought brokenly. **

**Because if this little visit had taught me one thing it was this: I still loved Jesse more than anything. **

**I would willingly die for him here and now if I had to. I shook myself mentally, trying to get a grip on reality. But Jesse just kept creeping back into my thoughts. **

**What can I say? The guy has an effect on me. He always has and probably always will. Even if I did just whack him for a stupid -and most probably childish- reason. **

"**Hey Suze? Everything okay in here?" asked Gina worriedly as she poked her head around the door. I smiled at her tensely.**

"**Yeah. Yeah, everything's fine. We just needed to talk is all." I informed her calmly. She stepped inside and slowly closed the door behind her. **

"**That was some 'talk'. The guy had full-on devastation written all over his face. It was like watching one of those _American Idol _wannabes. What'd you do to him anyway?" she asked curiously. **

**I rolled my eyes and returned my gaze to outside of my apartment. _Devastated my arse_, I thought angrily. **

"**Nothing that he didn't deserve." I replied hearing my voice crack again. I was shocked for a moment when I realised that I was crying. Seriously crying. And not even in the attractive sense. Gina looked pretty taken-aback as well. I guess she isn't used to me showing emotion. I tended to not let her see how much stuff hurt me. Mediating-wise I mean.**

**She looked about ready to say something when my cell phone rung. Seeing as I wasn't exactly in the mood to answer it, Gina picked up for me.**

"**Hey, Suze isn't available right now do you want me to take a message?" she asked politely. It only took me a couple of seconds to realise that it was important. Gina signalled to me that I needed to take it. I nodded and took it from her.**

"**Susannah Simon, New York Gazette. How may I help you?" I asked shakily. I heard a relieved sigh from the other side of the line.**

"**Thank God Suze. Where've you been? I've been looking for you everywhere girl." My understudy Ray told me hurriedly. Working as a Crime Reporter had always been a challenging job. Especially with the Mediator thing. But having Ray as my young learner helped. Even if he was the clumsiest sixteen year old ever.**

"**I took the rest of the day off. Personal problems." I explained. **

"**Ooh! Say no more girl. I know all about that kind of thing from my mama. She always taught me to respect her specially at that time of the month, if you know what I'm saying." **

**I blinked in complete embarrassment. How the hell did he get from personal problems to……………..**

"**What the hell? I am not on my period Ray. Please never ask me that again. I may have to run from the room." I told him, feeling my cheeks heating up. Gina suppressed a giggle, obviously getting what he'd asked me. I on the other hand was mortified. I don't know why it felt like such a big deal to have a guy ask me that. It just……was.**

"**Oh right. Well whatever your 'personal problems' were, the point is that we need you down the Gazette like now." He said in a rush. He obviously expected me to fight against the idea.**

"**Why? What's the deal? Everything was clean when I left. No homicides for the past two days. A few suspicious circumstances maybe. But nothing to write about. The CIA has us gagged. You know that." **

"**Yeah, of course I know that. Why the hell do you think Robson's got me calling you? We got the case. The Venderson killings on 23rd Street. We just got the press release. It's conclusive. It's a double murder. They're advising all citizens in that area to stay at home. We got it girl! But we need you for the forensic side. You're the only one qualified to……"  
**

"**I'll be there in ten minutes. Meet me by the bridge at the Point. I've got a guest, so bring the files with you." I ordered him quickly. **

"**Whatever you say boss." He replied with a chuckle. I felt the need to bring him back to reality.**

"**When's our dead-line?" I asked grabbing a pen off the counter and scribbling on my hand.**

"**Oh right. We have till this Friday."**

"**That's a whole week!" I exclaimed. We were usually lucky if we had a days notice at the moment. Gun crime had made our schedule pretty hectic. **

"**Yeah I know. Robson said that it'll go to press on Saturday. Everything's quite at the moment. He wants to build this story up or something. We're the only ones with the scoop. Everyone else is too focussed on the new celeb baby. What's its name? Grapefruit or something?" **

"**Okay, listen to me. The only reason Robson's doing this is to make hysteria. Anything less than that and he'll have both our butts in the fryer. Got me?" I asked, suddenly tense. **

**The line went quite for a moment as Ray figured it out as well. He'd be the first one to get cut if they decided to do any shift-around in the office. He was only the new kid. If he didn't do his first proper case right, Robson –our editor- would have no problem in sacking him. **

"**Yeah. Yeah I got you." he replied faintly. I decided to keep my pep talk for later though and decided to get moving on the case. **

"**Okay then. Remember to meet me –"**

"**At the Point Bridge, with the files. I know boss." He cut me off sounding annoyed. I rolled my eyes at Gina who'd been eyeing me with interest. **

"**See ya later Ray." I said as the phone clicked off. **

"**So where too now Simon?" Gina asked with amusement. I grinned and grabbed my keys.**

"**We have a murder to solve."**

**_A/N: WOW! That is possibly my longest chappy ever. Cool. Lol._**

_**Thanx for all the great reviews guys! I've been writing this while I've been ill so I hope it pays off and doesn't suck!**_

_**Now all ya have to do is push the little blue button and REVIEW!**_

**_And about the Jesse/Suze situation. Don't worry. I've got it covered._**


	4. Case Study

**We arrived at The Point in record time. Living in New York when I was a kid had given me quite a good knowledge of the back-alleys and short-cuts of the area. Which was always good when you needed a _McDonalds _quickly. Right now though I was using them to zigzag through the plant pots that surrounded the narrow bridge. Finally I pulled to a halt beside Rays' red _Scoda. _He grinned at meas I stepped out and came to stand by an impressed Gina. I knew what she was thinking. Ray was exactly her type. Tall, dark and handsome. Plus his family were from Puerto Rico, meaning he knew some Spanish. I watched as they stared at each other for a minute. I felt compelled to break the silence.**

"**Um…..do you have those case files?" I asked, trying to ignore their non-withering gazes. **

"**Yeah. Yeah, I got them off Clyde this morning." He replied startled from his staring. I rolled my eyes. It wouldn't last a week, but it was still kind of cute.**

"**Can I have them then?" I prompted with an amused smile. He shifted his gaze to my face and grabbed the files from the hood of his car.**

"**Here. I flicked through them but you've always been better at the plot-line stuff."**

"**What plot-line stuff?" I asked indignantly. He looked at me strangely.**

"**Hyping stuff up for the public." He replied like it was obvious. I threw him a dirty look.**

"**I do not 'hype stuff up'." I said stubbornly. Gina stifled a giggle. Once again shifting his attention back to her.**

"**So this is…uh…..your guest right?" he asked pleasantly. I nodded with a grin. Was it just me or was he talking differently? He sounded more mature. And he wasn't doing that stupid 'I'm a Brooklyn bad boy' thing. He was trying to act…….smart I guess. **

"**Yeah. This is Gina. Gina this is Ray." **

"**Pleased to meet you." Gina said with a small smile, holding out her hand. He took it hesitantly. **

"**Are you ready to go? I want to get to-"I checked the paperwork, "-The Venderson Hotel before they close up the crime scene." **

"**Yeah, sure girl. Anything for the boss." He smiled. I nodded absently, reading the first page of the documents Ray had pulled up for me.**

'…**_..the bodies were found a little after 2.36am on Sunday morning. It is thought that one of the intended victims was strangled. It is yet to be determined the cause of victim B's death….'_**

"**Hey wait up a second Ray. You said that Clyde got these files for me right?"**

"**Yeah, he gave me them himself this morning." He replied looking over my shoulder at what I'd been reading.**

"**But how come we're the only ones with the scoop? Clyde could only have gotten this from a press conference. This is a double murder with no suspect in custody. It'll be all over CNN tonight. So why has he given us so long on the deadline?" **

**I looked over my shoulder at Ray who was staring at the paper thoughtfully. Gina I couldn't help but notice hadn't taken her eyes off him. Which wasn't usual for her. She usually let the boys do all the running.**

"**I guess he must think there's more to this then meets the eye. Everyone knows how great you are at solving cases. Even before the cops sometimes. Maybe he wants you to find something that no-one else has thought of yet." He suggested calmly. **

**I silently agreed. There was definitely something strange about this case. Just the way that they had so much evidence but no suspects. No possible descriptions or eye-witnesses. It looked like a cover-up from where I was standing. Maybe that was why Robson and Clyde gave us such a wide deadline. They wanted us to dig for clues.**

'…**_..reporters allowed on scene: New York Gazette and New York Times…….."_**

**So someone else did have the scoop. I'd have to throw them off the scent if I wanted an exclusive story. I tried to remember who the homicide reporter for the New York Times was, but came up blank. I was sure that she'd left a month ago. Which meant a rookie had taken her place. Should be easy enough, I thought absently.**

"**Lets get moving." I said as I yanked open my door and slid inside. Gina followed and got in the opposite side.**

"**See ya in a minute girl." Ray replied as he did the same.**

**We sat in silence for most of the journey. Gina was in a world of her own, staring at the plastic _Starbucks _cup that she was holding. I took my eyes off the road for a minute to look at her.**

"**Admit it. You like him don't you?" I asked knowingly. She looked up, startled.**

"**Is it really that obvious?" she replied with a grin. I rolled my eyes and returned my gaze to the road.**

"**Between you and him I think I could have gotten more sense out of a stone." I laughed.**

"**Yeah well, I don't know. He's pretty young for me." she smiled sadly. I rolled my eyes.**

"**What are you on Gina? The guy's got it bad and he's only just met you!"**

"**That isn't the point." She reminded me. **

"**Jeez. He's only a year younger than you. That is nothing. I mean look at Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas." She didn't look convinced by superior superstar knowledge. **

"**Yeah I guess." She considered with a smirk.**

"**I give up." I informed her sarcastically. She seemed to find this highly amusing. I'm not quite sure why.**

"**Okay, fine. If he asks me then I'll give it a go."**

"**Halleluiah." I muttered as I pulled into the Vernderson Hotels' car park. **

"**What about you?" she asked seriously. I looked at her.**

"**What about me?" **

"**You and that Jesse dude. What was up with that?" she asked curiously. I avoided her eyes as I parked my car by a small tower-block on 23rd Street.**

"**It's a long story." I replied softly, staring up at the pretty little hotel.**

"**But he's the one right? The one from Carmel?" she pressed curiously. I nodded feeling suddenly sick.**

"**He's The One alright." **

"**So what's he doing up in NYC all of a sudden?" she continued. I shook my head.**

"**I have no idea."**

"**Okay, fine. It's obvious you don't want to talk about it right now. But if you ever do…."**

"**Thanks Gina." I replied looking back at her for the first time since she'd brought it up. I was so lucky to have her as a friend. **

**Right now however, my friend seemed distracted.**

"**Ooh. You reporters get all the luck." She commented as her gaze shifted through the window. I followed her gaze.**

**Standing outside talking to a nearby cop was the New York Times' new reporter. Well I was guessing as much from the way he was dressed. Smart yet casual. He was tall – taller than me anyway. With short black hair and –**

"**Oh shit! Suze its Jesse!" **

_**A/N: Okey dokey. So I finally started updating again! YAY!**_

_**Thank you SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO much to all the people that have reviewed this fic so far. It really is appreciated.**_

_**So what do you think? Hehe. This way Suze HAS to deal with Jesse. Lol. **_

_**Paul will reappear soon as well. **_

_**I have finally decided what pairing this story will end up with. **_

_**But whether it's J/S or P/S you'll have to keep reading to find out!**_

_**Man I'm mean. **_

_**PLEASE REVIEW!**_


	5. Heart of Gold

"**It's a cover-up." I informed Robson calmly. Calmly considering he'd called me into the office at 5.30am to discuss it. I swear that he lives in this building. **

"**Well I know that Simon. Why the hell do you think I got you on this case?" he replied sarcastically. I ignored him and gestured to the case file on his desk.**

"**It's all too perfect. The Feds' have made it look like an open and shut case. But it isn't. They haven't even got a plausible cause-of-death." I informed him excitedly. I always get hyped up when I drink too much caffeine. And today I had had coffee every five minutes. I am _so_ not a morning person. I'm not really that sure at what kind of person I am. I don't really classify as a night person either. **

"**I thought they told us it was conclusive. Murder." He reminded me mildly, as he began to type something onto his PC.**

"**Yes but that's a huge area to fill. It can be first degree, second degree, stabbing, drowning, shooting, poisoning –"  
**

"**Okay I get the picture. Didn't they tell us that as well though? One of the victims –Macy Heart- was strangled." I frowned. **

"**They changed the story. Apparently there's new evidence suggesting they were both drowned. But where? How?" I replied with the confident edge back in my voice. I took a swig of my coffee.**

"**I don't follow you." he said, turning away from his computer screen for a moment. **

"**Where were they drowned? There's no lake nearby. The cops said it had taken place in the hotel. But where was the water? The bathroom showed no sign of a struggle. I checked. And surely someone would have heard something. Two females being attacked by some un-known assailant. It must have been quite a struggle. Yet there are no witnesses."**

**He grinned at me. You could practically see the dollar signs in his eyes. He knew that this was going to be big. A cover-up was always big news. Especially if we were the only newspaper running it. Unfortunately I had a feeling that Jesse sensed something was up as well. Neither of us bothered with the interview-and-leave protocol. **

"**You know Simon, when I first hired you, you were barely qualified enough to sell a gossip magazine. You had no work experience. Nothing. I took a chance on you."**

"**And no-ones more glad than I am that you took that chance." I smiled proudly. I still couldn't believe I got the job here. I guess they were desperate.**

"**And now that chance is paying off. You get this story for me and I'll double your salary. Don't go swanning off to some other rag when you hit the spotlight." He grinned. I nodded unable to speak. He was _doubling _my salary over this. Sensing the conference was over I stood up and made my way to the door. **

"**But only if you get the story." He reminded me as I pulled on the handle. I smiled at him reassuringly.**

"**Don't worry Sir. I'll get the story."**

**Needless to say I was whistling the whole way down the stairs. One story could make or break me. Weird huh? I guess it's a bit like love. One moment can destroy everything that took so long to build. Well not everything I guess. I mean, you'd still feel like you loved that person after right? It's normal to feel like that. Like if you ran into them unexpectedly and suddenly your feelings returned. That wouldn't be bad, it'd be good. Part of the healing process. I guess.**

**Not that I'm feeling like that or anything. I can't love Jesse anymore. Not after what he did to me. I'm just starting to get my life on track. Stuff is finally going great. I'm not about to let him ruin my second chance at being happy. Well, being almost happy anyway. How can I ever be happy without hi-**

**I do not need him. Not one bit. I'm fine.**

"**Susannah are you okay?" I jumped as I noticed that I'd been standing idly at the traffic lights. I'd been so busy thinking that I'd forgotten to actually move. **

"**Sorry, I was daydreaming." I replied vaguely. **

**  
"About the Venderson case?" **

**It was only then that I recognised the voice. My head snapped up. It was Jesse again. Oh shit.**

"**No actually. Not that it's any of your business." I spat harshly. He flinched as if I'd hit him. Except this time I hadn't. Hit him I mean.**

"**Susannah-"**

"**I'm not interested Jesse. Just stay out of my way." I told him firmly. He grabbed my arm as I attempted to march off at top speed. I stared up into the brown depths of his eyes and felt the all-too-familiar melting sensation in the pit of my stomach. If I leant forwards just a little I could almost –**

**_Don't you dare think about kissing him! _I told myself angrily. It was common sense to the rescue I guess.**

"**Susannah I'm sorry about the way things turned out before. I shouldn't have shouted at you. I was just so angry about –"**

"**About what Jesse? I never did anything to you. I was just a kid in love. I didn't deserve what you did to me. Just leave me alone." I whispered. He stared at me for a moment more, still not letting go of me.**

"**You really don't know do you?" he sighed. Suddenly he looked very tired.**

"**Know what Jesse? Please elaborate further."**

"**Father Dominic told me about you and Paul." He replied softly. I raised both eyebrows in shock. This was a new one. I slipped out of his grasp and folded my arms across my chest.**

"**I should have guessed. Of course it was Father D. It always is." I muttered annoyed. He shook his head at me in confusion.**

"**He wouldn't lie about something like –" **

"**No Jesse you're right he wouldn't. But did you ever think of asking me? Didn't you ever think that maybe he just got the wrong end of the stick? Because I would have been more than happy to explain what me and Paul were really doing." I replied angrily. Trust Jesse to wreck my perfect mood.**

"**And what was it that you and Slater were 'really doing'?" he hissed back sounding as angry as I was. **

"**Do you know what? I don't have to answer that. Why don't you just ask Paul?" I replied.**

**And with that I started walking back down towards my house again. Jesse followed.**

"**Tell me Susannah. I have a right to know." he whispered. I immediately felt all my anger drain away. Jesse was as just as much a victim in all of this as I was. He had lived with thinking I'd cheated on him. 'Lived' being the key word.**

"**I was having shifting lessons to stop Paul hurting you. I knew what he was capable of. I knew you wouldn't agree with it as well. That's why I didn't tell anyone."**

**And then I really did leave. With Jesse muttering some very colourful curses behind me. **

**I had a feeling that I'd be okay after all.**

_**A/N: Thanks to everyone that reviewed my last chapter! **_

_**Cheers and coolios!**_

_**Please review again! **_

_**-Angel-**_


	6. Rekindled Passion

"**I'm blank." I informed Gina tiredly. We'd been up all night brainstorming about possible suspects. But my mind was filled with a big fat nothing. That nothing being a certain Mr De Silva. Gina didn't seem too focussed on the task herself. I had a feeling that it had something to do with Ray. **

"**I think we need a plan of action. Like that dude in the matrix did. What's his name again? The cute one?"**

"**Huh?" I coughed, looking up from flicking through the channels. She rolled her eyes.**

"**What happened to you today? You came back practically bouncing off the walls and now you're just….well…..you I guess." She considered out loud. I tried to pretend I was focussing on the TV. But in reality I wasn't even seeing it.**

"**Jesse." I muttered darkly. She turned to face me with concern evident on her face.**

"**You want me to beat him up for you?" she asked seriously. I blinked at her.**

"**Are you high? No I don't want you to beat him up for me. I can do that perfectly well on my own." I informed her unconvincingly. She shook her head making her dark hair sway.**

"**What happened to you guys anyway?" she asked casually. That was it. The direct question I'd been avoiding ever since we broke up. But somehow talking to him today had changed everything. My whole way of thinking had shifted. I had no idea what had really happened back in Carmel. I'd just run before I found out. **

"**Want to know the truth?" I didn't wait for her to answer, "I've been asking myself that all evening." **

**She studied me for a moment with her expressive dark eyes. She seemed to be trying to figure me out. But seeing as I didn't even know what I was thinking; it didn't really work all that well.**

"**You are so screwed up Simon. Why can't you just admit it?" she asked coolly. I cocked my head in her direction interestedly. **

"**Admit what exactly?" I replied weakly. I knew what she was going to say however. I just _knew._**

"**He's the one." she said simply. I gasped as if I'd never even thought of it. Of course I _had _but it was still a shock hearing it from her. She frowned grimly. **

"**Yes. And don't even try and deny it. I've seen the way you look at him." she brought a hand up to silence me when I tried to protest. **

"**You love him." she finished simply. I shut up immediately. I didn't know what to say. **

"**It isn't that simple." I stuttered. **

"**Why? What's the big deal with you guys? One minute you're at each others throats the next you're contemplating-"**

"**-nothing. Jeez. I only just got over seeing him again. I don't need to be mixed up in that kind of thing right now." I muttered. She bit her lip but didn't argue.**

"**Fine. Just be careful that you don't go hurting yourself."**

**I didn't need to ask what she meant. She was just looking out for me. She was the one that helped pick up the pieces when I first came to NYC. She got me the apartment. Hell, she'd even got me the job interview. And I was risking everything I'd learned on a guy that had already ditched me for no good reason. Aren't I the brightest cookie in the barrel?**

"**I promise I won't deliberately put myself in mortal peril." I grinned. She continued to gaze at me seriously then nodded.**

**I jumped as I heard someone knocking on my door. Grabbing my sweater I went to open it. I was actually kind of relieved to have an excuse to get off the relationship conversation. I heard Gina snort as I swung open the door.**

""**Hey Suze, is it okay if I come and talk to you about something?" It was Paul. I sighed and stepped back to let him in.**

"**Be my guest." **

**Locking the door I led him back into the front room where Gina was hurriedly packing away her stuff. I stared at her in horror. She couldn't leave now. That would leave me alone with………**

"**Paul Slater." He said casually as he held out his hand. She shook it politely and straightened, slinging her back-pack over her shoulder. **

"**Nice to meet you Mr Slater. I'm really sorry Suze but I have to go to that thing." She informed me quickly. I raised my brows at her sceptically and knew that Paul was doing the same. She was setting me up and I knew it.**

**I waved a hand at her vaguely as I snatched up the controls and turned the TV off.**

"**Fine. See you tomorrow. You're helping Ray on the case right?" she blushed at the sound of Rays name. She had it bad. With one final smile she rushed out of the front door, leaving us alone. **

"**So……" he began. I rolled my eyes and made for the kitchen.**

"**Don't tell me you travelled all the way to my apartment without even knowing why." **

**He smiled at me lazily and leant against the counter. I ignored him.**

"**Do I need a reason to request a beautiful young woman's company?" he inquired with a smirk. I felt myself blush scarlet as I snatched a Pepsi from the fridge. I didn't bother offering him one. I didn't feel like being hospitable. **

"**Yes." I replied calmly, "you never do stuff unless there's something in it for you."**

"**Ouch, that hurt." He grinned not even attempting to look like he meant it.**

"**They say that happens when you hear the truth." I shot back angrily. He was moving closer to me and I didn't like it one bit. **

"**What if the truth was that you're hot?" he whispered. **

**And then he leant down and kissed me. And for a moment I was so shocked that I couldn't do anything but let him. I hadn't been held like I meant something to someone for so long. And he wasn't exactly the worst looking guy on the block. Maybe I should just give in and……..**

**_No, _a distant part of my mind replied firmly. **

**And I knew it was right. Anything that Paul and I had ever had together was lust. It was never anything more. If I gave into him now I'd just be throwing myself back to square one again. **

**Which is incidentally why I kneed him in the shin.**

"**Ow!" he yelled angrily. I could see the surprise evident on his face. **

_**Didn't think I could resist did you? **_

"**Get out of my house before I get_ really_ mad." I told him in a hushed voice. All that kissing could really take it out of a girl. He looked unlikely to do as I said until I raised my leg for another kick. **

"**I'll be back." He whispered with a dangerous light in his blue eyes. I'd only ever seen that light once before.**

**So I kicked him anyway.**

"**Keep away from Jesse." I spat.**

**Suze was back in the building. **

**_A/N: I hate exams. I have my S.A.T's in 2 weeks and one of the papers is on MACBETH. I have nothing against Shakespeare. I'm sure he was a very nice guy. But it's SO boring! And all the characters keep dying anyway! What's the point in creating a bunch of characters if you're going to kill them all? I don't get it. The Mediator is much easier to understand. Lol. _**

**_Answers for Reviewers: _**

**_UnangelicHalo -: Suze is now 18 which makes it….um……thinks 2 years on? Yeah. I think so. Lol. I've actually forgotten to be honest. But I THINK its 2 years._**

**_kittykatangel518 –: Suze and Jesse have finally cleared the air so Suze doesn't feel all confused about his actions anymore. She understands. That's what the last line meant. She finally understands what happened to them. Jesse didn't love someone else or something. He never stopped loving her. So she's in control again. But what happens next……dun dun dun!_**

**_Maritinkerbell -: Most of the truth came out. Lol. Not all of it. I'm saving some of it for Paul Ammunition. Hehe._**

**_Koizak -: Have faith in our good heroine. _**

_**And totally randomly: **_

**_BillThePonyLlama –: Was that song by Papa Roach? Take me? I recognise the lyrics. Lol._**

**_Thanks to everyone that reviewed! Alenor, Steph, teenwriter22, Jeese's Querida, nikki007._**


	7. The Reason

**_A/N: Halleluiah! I am over my massive writers block at last! (It's about time). Guess who's back……Back Again…..lol. But seriously: I am SO SO SO SO SO sorry for keeping you waiting this long. I am evil and mean and stupid and……yeah. I'm just really sorry. I know how much I hate it when people don't update. So please forgive me! _**

_**Hope you like the update! **_

"**No." I told Cee-Cee firmly. She shook her black hair and rolled her expressive violet eyes. Since moving to New York to pursue her writing career she'd become a pretty yell known author. It was funny how things worked out like that. I had what used to be_ her_ dream job. And right now she was trying to convince me to go to the annual Writer/Newspaper Black and White Ball. It's basically a rip-off of the Oscars with awards for different writing achievements. Even with her date already secured –Adam- she still wanted me there. I could swear she gets stranger every year. Maybe it's the non-stop writing deadlines or something. **

"**Simon, I am telling you now: You cannot not go to the Black and White Ball. It's like an unwritten rule. Every newspaper and publisher will be there." She told me in an annoyed voice. I sighed and continued staring at the hundreds of clothes lining the shop we were in. Cee-Cee had insisted on me coming along to help pick out her dress. Ignoring her comment I picked up a pretty white dress from the rack.**

"**Before you dyed your hair this would have been perfect." I informed her sadly. It was so pretty. It had little green and pink flowers sewn on. But her shock of black hair against her already translucent complexion meant black was the only way to go.**

"**Stop trying to change the subject." She replied crisply. I gave the dress another long, sad look before following her to the side of the shop consisting of black clothing. I fingered a frilly frock with distaste. Catching my gaze Cee-Cee let out a sigh of her own.**

"You are so difficult. If you like the dress so much then why don't_ you_ wear it to the ball?" she muttered as she reached for a less frilly version of the dress I'd just pointed at.

"Because I'm not going. Remember?" I replied trying to keep my wistful eyes away from the dress in question. 

"**Yes you are. Now go get that dress _right this second _or I swear I'll make someone else Godmother instead." She informed me dangerously. I blinked as she continued to struggle to reach the floaty dress above her. **

"**Godmother to whom?" I asked dumbly. Finally snatching the hanger and yanking it down she gave me a mischievous grin. My mouth dropped in shock.**

"**Cee-Cee! You are……you're not……you can't be……How long have you known?" I squeaked in delight. Cee-Cee grinned.**

"**Since this morning. Adam doesn't know yet. I'm telling him tonight at the ball. That's why you have to be there!"**

**I thought that this would be a bad time to mention that the only reason I wasn't going in the first place was because Jesse would be there. She would no doubt find that as an even better reason for me to go then her baby news.**

"**Wait a minute…..did you say that I was Godmother?" I squeaked again. People in the shop were starting to stare at us, so Cee-Cee - Careful to grab my dream dress first – dragged me into a nearby dressing rooms.**

"**Do you mind keeping it down slightly? I_ am _kind of trying to keep this a secret." She hissed. I threw my arms around her and began laughing hysterically.**

"**I'm going to be a Godmother!" I yelled happily.**

"**You're going to be a dead Godmother if you don't keep it down." She smiled back. Then she shoved the dress into my hand and pushed me into the cubicle.**

"**And right now you are trying on that dress before buying it for the B&W Ball tonight. Got it?"**

"**Yes Miss." I grinned. She rolled her eyes before pulling across the fabric curtain and leaving me alone with the dress. I stared down at it for a moment before attempting to slip it on.**

**When I was done I called to Cee-Cee, who was already ready in her own loose-fitting black dress with more thrills than was necessary for any human being. And I could swear that at that moment in time she looked more beautiful than any Elle Magazine cover girl. Even with her ridiculously dyed hair and giddy grin, which quickly turned to an expression of awe.**

"**Oh my Gosh," she whispered softly, "Suze. You look so……wow. Jesse isn't going to know what's hit him." she finished lamely.**

**I stared at her. She knew about Jesse? She must have read something in my expression because the next moment the look of awe on her face was replaced by a nervous smile.**

"**I didn't learn to do all that self-research on my laptop for no reason you know." she told me softly. I narrowed my eyes at her.**

"**How long had Gina been passing info back to you?" I asked suspiciously. She bit her lip.**

"**We're just worried about you. You've been acting so sad over the past few months. We just wanted to make you happy again." she whispered. Then it all clicked.**

"**It was you that told Jesse where I go for coffee. Why Cee-Cee? Why call him up? He probably thinks I'm his stalker or some-"**

"**No, no, no. Jesse came to _me_. He wanted to find you, and well…..he was _alive. _I figured that you didn't know. I thought you two could make up. With him breathing and all." I closed my eyes briefly. Why would Jesse come back for me? It didn't make any sense.**

"**Fine. I'll go tonight. But only because you want me to. Don't expect any miracles." I sighed. **

**And that of course is exactly my problem. I gave up on miracles.**


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